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When you died inside last week ... I realized there WAS feeling behind what we were doing: YOUR feelings, not mine. For me, it was just physical. To you, it broke your heart. I looked at the pictures Mona sent me and I was frantic. I knew that you were telling us the truth when you said we’d destroyed your will to live. If you don’t find it again, you WILL end up killing yourself. Not all at once, but you’ll bury yourself in work and each deadline will consume a little more of you until malnutrition and hypertension give you a massive heart attack at forty.”Mona and Christina were both listening, but weren’t adding to the conversation beyond their presence. Christina was stroking my arm while I gently cupped her breasts, looking up at me with an unreadable look as we talked.“You need a little reminder that sex can be beautiful and clean and mean something again,” she said sadly. “I broke that and I’ll be ashamed of that for the rest of my life. I need to help fix it. I can’t be the. So I suppose I should get on with telling you what I've been up to ... Marissa was right. Several of the women have been politicking with Holly to try out my prowess as a lover. In some ways that is embarrassing. After all I'm here to make sure they get to their new masters safely, not to entertain them with my body. I mean Marissa might have picked me as her gigolo, but she never farmed me out to anyone except Dana. And eventually Dana became a member of our family, so that really doesn't count in my mind.All I know is that feeling like the only reason someone wants to get close to me is for sex is an ugly feeling. I've carefully considered some of the requests that I've received. I will probably invite one or two of the women to my apartment. Not because I need any more sex. Believe me, Holly does her best to keep me well drained!But to be honest I doubt that sex is really on the minds of the women who have asked to have some alone time with me. Neither of them is unattractive..
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